Wednesday, April 17, 2013

MTC: Week 3

First of all I will probably get my visa on time (if not around the time I will leave). We got fingerprinted yesterday to prepare for the Argentinian Consulate meeting next week. It is going to happen on my p-day so I probably wont email at the same time and I will have to do my laundry at another time. The district that is soon leaving might have to wait for another week or so; we dont know what will happen, but they get to go to Salt Lake next week instead meeting here at the MTC.

We had another district leave this past week, which was pretty exciting but also really nerve wrecking to think that we will be in the same position in three weeks. The district that came in last week is all going to Chile which is pretty exciting. I've gotten to know the guys in that district really well and one of them is like my little brother. I will find some way to adopt him into our family :). They are all pretty sassy but it is fun to play volleyball with them. We have another district coming in today that is all going to Utah.

I'm going to mention a few other random things before I get into the amazing spiritual experiences of this week, k? Ok. Coming into the MTC I was sick for the first couple days and then got over it and now I have a stupid runny nose all the time. A couple times I have forgotten tissues in meetings and I felt like my shirt was going to start looking like snot. Not that that is a good mental picture I just wanted to convey how miserable I was in those few moments. Mom, I forgot to send you my tithing in my last letter! Sorry about that. It will come soon. Also, THANK YOU FOR THE PACKAGE!!!! It was wonderful and I ate my companion's jellybeans before I read that the other bag was for her, so I just gave her the rest of the candy. :D

So Hermana Patterson left to Costa Rica yesterday morning at 3 a.m. which was bittersweet. I'm excited for her to go out and serve but it was nice seeing Lexi everywhere and sharing this experience with her. I love her so much, but she is going to convert the world so I should support her!

Now to the point you have all been waiting for! Well it is the point that I have been waiting for because the spiritual experiences are great for me to review. So last week I was struggling to feel the spirit. I had felt it in all of the lessons but I felt like something was off. I felt like Hermana Canada (I never said her real name which is Chelsea Ernhofer- weird to think of her as anyone but Canada) needed to have a companionship inventory but we were so busy all the time I didnt know how to approach that situation. We were getting along fine, I just felt like we were on different pages. One day last week it blew up in our faces and we had an hour and a half long companionship inventory. We laid everything out on the table and for the first time in a week I felt the spirit overwhelm me and comfort me. We talked about everything that had been going on between us and within ourselves. It was really hard but also really great. Our lesson was right after that and it went beautifully. There are always places we can improve, but at that point we followed the spirit and taught with unity. The companionship inventory we had was spur of the moment in the hall outside our classroom so when people left for dinner and came back for dinner they say me crying. Wonderful. I didnt even notice the people passing until Canada asked if I wanted to move. After our lesson with our investigator the zone leaders called Canada and I into the other room with one of the other girl companionships. They gave me and another girl a blessing which was one of the greatest experiences of my life! 6 Elders holding the magnificent priesthood all placed their hands upon my head to give me a blessing of comfort. It was one of the many blessings and miracles I have witnessed already. It was exactly what I needed and Heavenly Father knew it.

I also had an amazing experience when Sheri Dew spoke last Sunday. She gave the most amazing devotional and it blew my mind. She became my favorite person in that moment. She reminds me a lot of my teacher Sister McManus at BYU-I and I think they would be best friends if they knew one another. Anyway, she talked about 3 main ways Satan succeeds in driving us away from the gospel. He 1. tries to confuse us about who the savior is and what He has done, 2. tries to confuse us about who we are and what our purpose is, and 3. satan tries to confuse us on how we receive revelation or how Heavenly Father communicates with us. Those points were all great and I learned so much, but the one thing that really stood out to me was she said if we wanted to know what Heavenly Father thought of us we could just ask. That night I did and I have no idea how to explain in words what happened, but He answered me in a very personal way. I know that my Redeemer lives! He loves us and wants us to succeed in this life. He continually teaches and humbles me as I am learning how to draw closure and rely on Him. The Book of Mormon is the word of God and I have the privelage to declare that to the world!

A couple days ago I heard myself speak in spanish and I broke down. It wasnt a normal breakdown where I cry and feel frustrated, it was "I am done." I felt so stupid and slow, which has NEVER happened to me with learning. I have always felt confident in my ability to understand and get good grades, but grades are not the determining factor of whether I pass or fail at the MTC or in life in general. I lost all motivation to learn spanish. I stopped praying in spanish and I havent really talked to Canada in spanish for a while. I needed to do something to change my attitude so I talked to one of my teachers (Hermano Clarke) about it. He had struggled with spanish and I figured if any of the teachers could shed light on what I needed to do it would be him. As we talked and then read, in Mosiah, about Alma and the people's burdens it occurred to me that Heavenly Father is not going to change anything for me. I will not change to english (which I wouldnt want anyway) and the only thing He can do is comfort me and make my burden feel light. As I was pondering on the fact that it wasnt the weight of my burden that was bothering me, it was the fact that I hated my burden, what would happen then? How would He help me with that? At that moment, I realized that He wasnt going to do anything. He told me that I was just going to have to get over it. I will have to swallow my pride and do what is necessary for me to continue on the right path. He is not only preparing me for my mission but also for the rest of my life.  In order to fulfill my greatest desire then I have to overcome this obstacle. I also learned that I am going through this so that I may be able to understand someone else's situation when the time comes and they feel stupid, but at the time that answer was not what I wanted to hear. Anyway, He is humbling me and I am learning to love it!

Hermana Allen

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