Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Desires and Contentment

Do you like that I abruptly filled your screen with my "roar face" ? You're welcome. :D

So I felt like I should write some things that I have been reminded of lately. I love sharing what I learn, and I love seeing that others care enough to read it! I understand that I will never know the actual influence I have in other's lives, but I hope that somehow, someone else can draw closer to Christ through this (that just reaffirms that Heavenly Father is using me without me knowing). First of all: some talks you should read! :

(I went on an Elder Maxwell binge and it was FANTASTIC)
1. The Pathway of Discipleship (to readto listen) by Neal A. Maxwell
2. Grounded, Rooted, Established, and Settled (to readto listen) by Neal A. Maxwell
3. Spiritual Ecology (to listen) by Neal A. Maxwell

There are a ton more that are super great, so click here for some more devotionals
NOW, I want to move on to some specific things that I learned. Recently, I received some revelation/answer to a prayer that was something I did NOT want to hear. It broke my heart. Seriously, I cried for days feeling so frustrated that I didn't want to turn to Heavenly Father for comfort. I really didn't know how to respond, because I never thought that my answer would be something that comes from Him. I lost hope. I could feel Heavenly Father trying to comfort me, but my pride reared its ugly head and for a while I refused to let go of my pain. Just so you know, I've gone through many experiences where Heavenly Father denied me something I wanted desperately, or that He put me down a path I deliberately did not want to go down, and with all of those things I accepted that He knew best, but this was my GREATEST desire. The only thing that I have ever wanted with all of who I am and it is not something I will soon receive (I'm not trying to tease you all, it is just a very personal desire that I would rather not reveal publicly). First of all, General Conference was exactly what I needed, as well as some other personal answers, understandings, and comfort given by my Savior. All of this led me to learn what I want to share with all of you.

I learned that I need to be happy with who I am and figure out where I want to go without focusing on my outward circumstance. We can make anything happen in our lives, but we so often focus on things that bind us. Money can be something very binding, especially if we have debt, but we do not need to let those outward circumstances dictate who we are. If you want to be someone who travels, then do it. There are TONS of bloggers who make it their life's goal to travel for super cheap. People who travel do not necessarily have tons of money! There are a billion different binders (some can be other people who refuse to love us, or who outwardly hate us), but we do not need to attach our happiness to outward circumstances. We make sacrifices and plan for what we want to do and who we want to be. Some people chose being alone to be their binder. We do not need another to do things. You can travel on your own (let your faith replace your fear). This talk is PHENOMENAL!!!!!! 

It is a talk called Desire by Elder Oaks (I decided to post a picture of when he was younger for your benefit), and it is the NUMBER ONE talk that I would suggest you read/listen to this week. This talk helped me to realize that without my bindings I had no excuses for my behavior. I needed to reexamine my desires and the direction I was headed. Are my actions congruent with where I want to go?

Which leads me to my next part: being content. Before my mission, I didn't see the word content as a very strong word. For me, it was a lesser version of being happy, as in you were somewhat satisfied with how your life was panning out. In spanish, however, being content is a word used for being overjoyed. They use it in terms of you REALLY enjoying and loving your life. I have come to accept that understanding of the word and it helps me to determine how I feel about my life. I think so often, with Facebook and other forms of social media that we can catch ourselves wishing we were somewhere else. I am in Ireland (a dream I never thought to imagine would happen), and I catch myself doing it. But we need to be content with our lives and situations if our actions are congruent with where we want to go. If we are doing what we need to, to get where we want to, then be happy! If you aren't, then change, and if you still want something else that you aren't working for, then examine that desire to see if it is worthy of a change/sacrifice in your life.

So, I may have gained 5 lbs since coming to Europe because of the food, but I have taken up yoga to be a part of one of my physical goals on who I want to be. I absolutely LOVE it! That is just a side note on how awesome yoga is. I also really love the kids that I nanny: