Few of you know the personal struggle I have had trying to deal with my papers (more recently, not the overall struggle). I saw all those girls who started their papers after me get their call before me, and it was a tough thing to swallow. To be honest, I probably felt a little abandoned by the Lord because I was feeling sorry for myself. I had finally learned what He wanted me to and I thought my papers were in when another surprise hit me: finding out they hadnt been submitted at all (this was a couple weeks ago: they are submitted!). This has been quite the roller coaster for me and I finally just broke down yesterday.
Yesterday was a moment in history that was extremely special, but more of a disappointment for me when I started to focus on myself. Yesterday was the day that all the Sister Missionaries in Rexburg met at the temple and took pictures for the First Presidency.
My prayer didnt seem to be answered until today, when I felt defeated. Isnt that always how it works? We stop trying and our prayers are answered? I was just going to stop thinking and talking about my mission all together when suddenly my bishop told me I WILL BE GETTING MY CALL THIS WEEK!!! I drove home not exactly sure how to feel. I was excited, but also nervous, and for some unknown reason I just wanted to cry. On the ride home, I gave over to all my emotions and screamed at the top of my lungs, cried uncontrollably, and laughed hysterically as I thanked Heavenly Father over and over again that I will finally know where I will be going. I'm actually glad that I went through this experience because it taught me to actually turn to Heavenly Father in my time of need. I cant do everything on my own, especially on a mission.