Becoming a Life Coach

I have mentioned publicly a time or two on social media that I fell in love with a guy that I shouldn't have, but I've never gone into much depth about the issue because I was still healing, or I was scared about judgement, etc. The truth is, that one experience has placed me on the trajectory that I currently am, and I am overwhelmed with gratitude that it happened. I am finally willing to be open and vulnerable about what I've learned and really how bad it had gotten, so that I could be where I am now.

First of all, let me start by explaining that for those of you who have known me for any length of time, I am very much like the character Joy from Inside Out.  

I have always had quite a bit of energy and excitement for life, even in difficult circumstances. Before this guy came along, however, I was incrementally getting unhappier all the time because I wasn't really honoring my personality or my gifts and talents. That incremental change was like the frog boiling in the pot by degrees, and I was allowing it to happen.

You know the feeling? The one where you think "how in the world did I let it get this far and allow myself to live like this"? That moment and the subsequent results of that moment are what I wish to talk about.

It was a while ago now, and I had emotionally hit rock bottom. I was working for a company where my boss constantly thought the worst of me and made me feel incompetent no matter how well I did or how hard I worked.

Suffice it to say, I hated my job, but I think we have all been there. This job wasn't even worth the effort I was putting in since I was on commission only and had neither time nor money freedom. I stayed there, however, because I had fallen in love with a guy with whom I worked. This situation was even worse, though, because this guy was married. We didn't ever do anything, but we did have an emotional affair, which was super damaging for everyone. It started when he was going to get a divorce, but then things changed and being as naive as I was at the time, I tried to stay friends with him when he decided to stay with his wife. I was too forgone emotionally to actually go back to being in a simple platonic working relationship with him, however, and he started treating me like garbage. He was emotionally abusive and for our entire "relationship" I felt like throwing up constantly because of my emotions. The thought of food or eating in general made me want to vomit, but I knew I needed to eat so I would force myself to eat something and then have to focus all of my attention on not throwing up for hours afterward. 

Health wise: I was sick, relationship wise: I was broken, vocation wise: I was unfulfilled and hated my job, and time and money freedom didn't really exist for me. I let myself go through this for MONTHS and MONTHS with moments of wishing I could just stop existing somehow because I didn't know what to do, where to go, or how to change. 

Then one day, the guy I was stupidly obsessed and depressed over, came into work after having a long weekend with his wife. He had surprised her for her thirtieth birthday with a vacation to California and was describing all the details of their trip with the beach and dinner and hotel, etc. He was describing how he had surprised her, enlisting the help of her sister and the place that she worked so she could have off work. He was describing it like they were this happy couple and I realized all the moments that we had, and how he said he felt, didn't matter. I realized I had allowed myself to be caught up in moments that may have been true but weren't going to change anything. I wasn't going to be able to just go back to feeling and thinking from before we started talking, and in this moment of realization I actually threw up. I had been emotionally sick for almost a year, but had never thrown up until that day. I called my sister explaining what happened and she asked me what I felt like I should do. In that moment, I made the decision to change my life. I was done doing this to myself and allowing my life and happiness to slip by. 

This was where I drew the line, but making that decision was suddenly the easy part. Fear and worry rose in me trying to remind me that I wasn't going to find the connection I had with him, and I didn't know how to move forward or what to do next. I had nothing to move toward, but I was determined to figure it out. 

I had conviction, and a courageous part of me that I let win over the part of me that was afraid. That part that I let win obviously had my best interest at heart despite how scared and unknown the future was. After that, I started diving deeper into psychology and understanding the universe, the law of attraction and manifestation, and I started to change a little bit at a time. Months of studying on my own, however, could only get me so far, and I still wasn't living a full life yet. I was learning and growing and trying to figure myself out, but it wasn't until I found the Dreambuilder Program and decided I wanted to be a life coach that my life really started to change and expand. I have studied and applied and reviewed different principles enough times to be able to teach it. Getting to this point has taken me so much effort but I really appreciated having a proven structure of support in a program that has been tried and tested for over 40 years. This system has made it so that I am living the life I am today. I am finally living my passion with a career that resonates and lights me on fire. I get to support people in building their dreams and overcoming the obstacles in their life, and I have deeper relationships with my family members. I have the time to spend with my family when and how I want, and I'm to the point where I not only love myself wholeheartedly, but I also truly LOVE my life.