MTC: Week 1

This first week has been absolutely phenomenal. I have learned about gifts that I didnt know I had and I have felt the spirit as my constant guide. My companion is absolutely amazing and I love her! That has been the biggest tender mercy Heavenly Father has given me. She is from Canada so I call her Hermana Canada. The first few days were pretty hard. Most people know I'm pretty hard on myself when it comes to learning so when I was first reviewing spanish I was struggling  with remembering it and I had a few breakdowns in those first few days. I feel better now and I love everyone in my district! The Hermanas found out all of the other Hermanas first names and it is really weird to think that that name is what everyone usually calls them. I have been struggling with music and movie quotes because I knew I quoted and sang a lot when it was applicable but now it isnt allowed and I catch myself doing it quite often. My spanish has been improving so much and I feel confident enough to carry on a conversation if I use all of my effort. We have class on the 5th floor so I have been getting even more exercise than the hour we have each day. The MTC is crazy full! There were tons of people speaking russian in the spanish building because they were leaving either today or yesterday morning. Before the MTC I was a little jealous that some people were learning Mandarin or Russian but I recognize that my insecurities would have been ten times higher if I were trying to learn anything else. Heavenly Father is awesome! If any of you ever get the chance to watch the talk given by Bednar called Character of Christ do it! It changed my life and made things that I had already known, clearer. I think I was a little naive before coming here thinking that it would somehow happen slower than it has but we taught our first "investigator" in spanish the third day we were here. We have taught him three four times and I think we are going to switch this week to a new investigator. It is hard not to get attached though, because you love them so much you dont want to not see them anymore. My english is getting crappier if you havent noticed. Switching back and forth from english to spanish is very different and I seem to lack my previous spelling ability.

We have some AMAZING teachers here. We have two helpers that come in all the time and then a constant teacher called Hermano Harris. He got off his mission 5 months ago and he served in Uraguay. Anyway, This is going to take me the longest to cover which is why I saved it for last. I love all the devotionals and spiritually uplifting seminars that we have. Everyday I learn something new and I feel Heavenly Fathers constant love for me. I have learned to pray in spanish quite fluently and I am so excited to have this amazing opportunity to spread the gospel. There are so many wonderful opportunities here to serve and grow. Our devotional yesterday, given by Scott D. Whiting, talked about the fact that the MTC is an incubator. We are in a controlled environment with perfect conditions to grow and learn. The whole thing was just amazing! Afterwards we talked about how ANY weakness you have will come out in the MTC no matter what, which explains why my knee has been given me a little trouble. It hurt a little yesterday, but not to the point where I couldnt walk without pain. Well my time is up and I dont know what anyone wants to know.

LOVE YOU ALL!

Hermana Allen

Life Changes Happen

I've been trying to figure out what I should do, or who I should tell about my week, and I finally came up with the idea to blog about it. I figure that only the people who care about me most will be the ones to read it, and those people are the only ones I want to know what happened, so here it is: My dad passed away on Sunday. I know this is going to be hard to believe, but I really am ok. He has been in ICU for about half a month, so I was prepared. I realize now that it was happening gradually, but Heavenly Father was helping me to forgive him and soften my heart toward him. My dad has never been a huge part of my life, which was my choice, but I love him all the same. He has taught me more than I think he even knew, and those life lessons will never change. When I was young, he would take me on father-daughter dates, which I adored. I loved being the center of attention to him, and that tradition will be something that carries on when I am married and have kids of my own. For those of you who do not know: my dad was 500 lbs, which is another reason I was prepared. I have been expecting this for years. A person cannot live the way he did and expect to live a normal life-span. I am especially grateful, though, to have the extra years that I have had with him.

I went to see him Sunday, and he was in extreme pain. He was unconscious most of the time I was there and he kept moving his head back and forth because of the pain from the tube helping him breathe. Before they took the tube out, they took him off sedation so that we could say goodbye and he would be able to understand us a little. I think what specifically made me okay with his passing was that as I was saying goodbye, I told him I was sorry. He had stopped shaking his head as I was talking to him and he was turned in my direction. I know he heard me tell him I loved him, and when I told him I was sorry, he had a tear escape his right eye. I had the distinct impression that that tear was his own apology. The most recent picture I have of my dad is when I was with him almost 4 years ago at my graduation. He looks like he has more years than the 49 he had lived (in this picture), but that is how I have always known him.